maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
