haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
