i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
