can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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