We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
