I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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