there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
