Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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