Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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