Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
