you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
