The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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