Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize