Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
