So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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