I wish I could punch you in the face.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
