i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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