At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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