And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
