Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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