You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize