Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
that is very illegal...i love you.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
