If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
