I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
