Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize