Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
