Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
