butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
