so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
