I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
