I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
