if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
