Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have post one night stand depression
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
