I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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