How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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