one might say we're banned from that church
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it glows. i had to have it.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
