We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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