Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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