So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
