What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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