i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
