no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
