I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
