doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
