thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
