It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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