you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
