i just wanna soil my oats bro
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
