i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize