I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
ok first of all what the fuck
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
