He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You're like the curious george of whores
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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