I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize