Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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