I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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