You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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