Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
