I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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