That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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