he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
