sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
