id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
