Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
