dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
