Who wears a wallet chain?!
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
