Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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