yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
