Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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